trigger warning: sexual abuse

In our capitalistic society, discarding is a way of life. It’s common to treat objects with disregard. Junk mail? That’s a one-way ticket to the landfill. More often than we’d like to believe, we treat people with the same value as the plastic packaging on our latest gadgets or food products. As a survivor of sexual assault, I know this too well.

When I was diagnosed with PTSD, a lot of strange tendencies and emotional attachments started to make more sense to me. There was more to the heartache I felt when trashing something that OCD alone wouldn’t account for. Seeing cardboard stacked up on the street in front of my Brooklyn apartment would leave me in a state of anxiety. Writing notes on paper and simply discarding them, made me feel a tinge of worthlessness. I learned in therapy this was called a “moral injury.”

“In order for moral injury to occur, the individual must feel like a transgression occurred and that they or someone else crossed a line with respect to their moral beliefs. Guilt, shame, disgust and anger are some of the hallmark reactions of moral injury.”

— SONYA B. NORMAN, PHD AND SHIRA MAGUEN, PHD

After witnessing how women were treated in the ballet world, and the music industry, then experiencing being raped myself—I found myself distraught throwing things away. How could we be treating Mother Earth this way? Digging holes into her sides only to fill them with rotting garbage.

I started gardening more to take back control over my small plot of Brooklyn. I started paying attention to recycling and having dreams of building Precious Plastic recycling centers across the nation. I wrote a grant proposal for community gardens located at rest stops along American interstates, hoping I could create safe spaces for sex workers and teach the public about what really happens on our highways.

But the small thing I can do right now is take responsibility for my paper waste. I started creating papercrete sculptures out of the material. I saved shards that come off in the process and started viewing these small pieces as wholes in their own right. I painted and cared for each one, paired them with another mate, and put them on nickel-free jewelry hardware.

Papercrete is a sustainable building material made from re-pulped paper, Portland cement, and sometimes clay or sand. The name is a combination of "paper" and "concrete". Papercrete is made by shredding paper into pulp, then adding Portland cement and sometimes sand. The pulp is mixed with water and stirred with a blade, then poured into molds to create blocks, beams, or dome sections

—NBS on papercrete

I’m so proud to present my papercrete earrings. They show that no matter how small you might be, no matter how unworthy you might be deemed by someone else—you can still shine (and be treated) like a gemstone.

See the full collection here, and don’t forget to check out my wood veneer earrings!

Watch how I make papercrete furniture: